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Whose Wedding Is This?

Bridegroom Take your God Ordained Place

by Lady Pamela Damon
Certified Wedding Coordinator

Why is the bridegroom the least thought of participant in the wedding celebration? He is almost looked upon as an accessory to the bride. The bridesmaids, the mothers and even the flower girl and ring bearer have major attention paid to them. The Bridegroom just appears. How often have you attended a wedding ceremony, where the Groom steps from a side door, takes about three steps and he’s standing in front of the church? While the other participants within the wedding party has special music selected for their entrance, all ooh and aah over the cuteness of the flower girl and ring bearer, guest smile over the beauty of the bridesmaids as they have their few seconds of fame strolling down the aisle. Then all stops, the minister announces the bride, doors are opened and a vision of elegance enters, all stand in awe. What happened to the bridegroom, the head, the leader of the family?

The question becomes “Whose wedding is this”? The bride, the bride’s mother, the in-laws, the bride & her mother, The guest? Or as God intended, the bride & bridegroom.

After planning dozens of wedding celebrations I started examining the role of the bridegroom. I noticed he is oftentimes an afterthought, even worst the punch line of jokes. What has saddened me is he has become conditioned to accept this as is. I can’t think of any other event or time in a man’s life where he will willingly give up his authority. I’ve heard countless brides say “this is my day” and the bridegroom to softly say, almost mumble, “Whatever she wants”. When did the bridegroom lose his place? Was it when we took our eyes off the reason of the ceremony and celebration? Was it when the wedding became a show and not a promise before the Lord?

God’s word clearly states the husband is the leader, the head of the family. When will he the bridegroom recapture his place? After the I Do’s are spoken, after the reception, after he carries the bride across the threshold? Will this be a natural transformation, after months of hearing or even saying, “Just tell him what to wear and when to show up”? How can the transformation go from being a bit player to now taking the lead role?

The planning of your wedding and marriage must be a joint experience. You are creating the foundation of a union. All appointments and decisions must be made together. Before any final decisions are made it should be taken before the Lord, contracts should be laid before the Lord asking him for direction. When visiting reception sites, pray over the room, don’t get caught up in the looks of the room, get caught up in seeking the presence of God. Ask the sales manager to leave you alone in the room, together (along with your wedding coordinator) take a moment to go into prayer. Pray the room be filled with God’s Holy Presence; Ask him to cover all those who enter this room with a shower of love, unity and blessings. Remember where God is, is Holy Ground. If the bridegroom isn’t present how can you pray together?

Planning a wedding is a very emotional time for most brides. Some of my clients are lawyers, teachers, top professionals in their fields, yet when it comes to the planning of their wedding, their heart takes over. Most of their decisions are made by emotion, unfortunately wedding vendors know this and they take advantage of this fact. I had one bride bring me a “signed” contract that was completely illegible. Neither she nor I had a clue to what was written on this contract. I couldn’t even read the Sales Manager’s name, she barely remembered his name. She was caught up in the romantic vision the vendor presented to her. This would not have happened if the bridegroom was either present or walking in his authority.

I’ve sat in meetings where the bride, the bride’s mother, bridesmaid, and even the vendor has made jokes about the groom not knowing what’s going on. How does he recapture his role after relinquishing it for so long? My advice is stop the process immediately. Have no more meetings, no more planning, until the roles are regained. Go into prayer together, take pre-marital classes. Bridegrooms speak to your brothers in Christ, who are walking in their authority, allow them to guide you along this journey.

Once vendors, friends, bridal party members see you actively involved in the planning of your wedding you will be viewed as the bridegroom should be viewed, as the leader. Vendors, friends, parents, bridal party members all will realize they are dealing with a man of God –a bridegroom walking in his authority, Taking his place.

Writer’s note: When God put this article on my heart, I laid before him asking for direction. Knowing this is 2009 and women are independent, making life impacting decisions, running their own companies, doing great and marvelous things, I didn’t want to come across as if women “had not arrived”. My always faithful and wise God directed me to his word that never changes, that has and will stand the test of time. So I share this with you, never to weaken you but strengthen you in Christ.

The entire chapter of “Numbers 30” speaks of women making vows, oaths (contractual decisions) and the role of the husband. Numbers 30 10-12 says:

And if she vowed in her husband’s house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath; And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not: then all her vows shall stand, But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond…,shall not stand: her husband hath made them void.

Feel free to contact LadyPamela for a wedding planning consultation session. Together we can take your wedding A STEP-UP. 718-530-8935
www.ASTEP-UP.com


NEWSFRONT FEATURES REGIONAL EVENTS UPCOMING EVENTS TRI-STATE NEWS THE CLASSIFIEDS FOLLOW US ABOUT US	FEATURES Whose Wedding Is This? Bridegroom Take your God Ordained Place by Lady Pamela Damon Certified Wedding Coordinator Why is the bridegroom the least thought of participant in the wedding celebration? He is almost looked upon as an accessory to the bride. The bridesmaids, the mothers and even the flower girl and ring bearer have major attention paid to them. The Bridegroom just appears. How often have you attended a wedding ceremony, where the Groom steps from a side door, takes about three steps and he’s standing in front of the church? While the other participants within the wedding party has special music selected for their entrance, all ooh and aah over the cuteness of the flower girl and ring bearer, guest smile over the beauty of the bridesmaids as they have their few seconds of fame strolling down the aisle. Then all stops, the minister announces the bride, doors are opened and a vision of elegance enters, all stand in awe. What happened to the bridegroom, the head, the leader of the family? The question becomes “Whose wedding is this”? The bride, the bride’s mother, the in-laws, the bride & her mother, The guest? Or as God intended, the bride & bridegroom. After planning dozens of wedding celebrations I started examining the role of the bridegroom. I noticed he is oftentimes an afterthought, even worst the punch line of jokes. What has saddened me is he has become conditioned to accept this as is. I can’t think of any other event or time in a man’s life where he will willingly give up his authority. I’ve heard countless brides say “this is my day” and the bridegroom to softly say, almost mumble, “Whatever she wants”. When did the bridegroom lose his place? Was it when we took our eyes off the reason of the ceremony and celebration? Was it when the wedding became a show and not a promise before the Lord? God’s word clearly states the husband is the leader, the head of the family. When will he the bridegroom recapture his place? After the I Do’s are spoken, after the reception, after he carries the bride across the threshold? Will this be a natural transformation, after months of hearing or even saying, “Just tell him what to wear and when to show up”? How can the transformation go from being a bit player to now taking the lead role? The planning of your wedding and marriage must be a joint experience. You are creating the foundation of a union. All appointments and decisions must be made together. Before any final decisions are made it should be taken before the Lord, contracts should be laid before the Lord asking him for direction. When visiting reception sites, pray over the room, don’t get caught up in the looks of the room, get caught up in seeking the presence of God. Ask the sales manager to leave you alone in the room, together (along with your wedding coordinator) take a moment to go into prayer. Pray the room be filled with God’s Holy Presence; Ask him to cover all those who enter this room with a shower of love, unity and blessings. Remember where God is, is Holy Ground. If the bridegroom isn’t present how can you pray together? Planning a wedding is a very emotional time for most brides. Some of my clients are lawyers, teachers, top professionals in their fields, yet when it comes to the planning of their wedding, their heart takes over. Most of their decisions are made by emotion, unfortunately wedding vendors know this and they take advantage of this fact. I had one bride bring me a “signed” contract that was completely illegible. Neither she nor I had a clue to what was written on this contract. I couldn’t even read the Sales Manager’s name, she barely remembered his name. She was caught up in the romantic vision the vendor presented to her. This would not have happened if the bridegroom was either present or walking in his authority. I’ve sat in meetings where the bride, the bride’s mother, bridesmaid, and even the vendor has made jokes about the groom not knowing what’s going on. How does he recapture his role after relinquishing it for so long? My advice is stop the process immediately. Have no more meetings, no more planning, until the roles are regained. Go into prayer together, take pre-marital classes. Bridegrooms speak to your brothers in Christ, who are walking in their authority, allow them to guide you along this journey. Once vendors, friends, bridal party members see you actively involved in the planning of your wedding you will be viewed as the bridegroom should be viewed, as the leader. Vendors, friends, parents, bridal party members all will realize they are dealing with a man of God –a bridegroom walking in his authority, Taking his place. Writer’s note: When God put this article on my heart, I laid before him asking for direction. Knowing this is 2009 and women are independent, making life impacting decisions, running their own companies, doing great and marvelous things, I didn’t want to come across as if women “had not arrived”. My always faithful and wise God directed me to his word that never changes, that has and will stand the test of time. So I share this with you, never to weaken you but strengthen you in Christ. The entire chapter of “Numbers 30” speaks of women making vows, oaths (contractual decisions) and the role of the husband. Numbers 30 10-12 says: And if she vowed in her husband’s house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath; And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not: then all her vows shall stand, But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond…,shall not stand: her husband hath made them void. Feel free to contact LadyPamela for a wedding planning consultation session. Together we can take your wedding A STEP-UP. 718-530-8935 www.ASTEP-UP.com Home \| Regional Events \| Features \| The Classifieds \| About Us \| Commentary \| Community \| Links ©2007 The Love Express. All rights reserved. Serving the Christian Community for over 20 years.